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Randy and Marsha
Submitted by Eliot
Shameless Book Deal
It seems like everyone but me is getting rich off book deals. It's getting really annoying that I haven't been offered six figure offers from major publishers just because I haven't thought of a good book idea. This blog will serve as a platform. Every day, a new book deal idea. Shameless? Probably. Effective? Only time will tell.
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“If you knew this guy’s dad Steve, you’d have to agree that I, a cat, look like Steve.”
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Everyone relax! I’m bringing back Shameless Book Deal!
The comeback book deal idea is the most shameless yet. People love models. People love lazy eyes. Get at me, literary agents!
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I’m Taking the Day Off!
Dear Readers,
Today is a day where I have a lot of work! I can’t bring you another blog idea today because then I won’t eat and pay my rent. I need a place to live and food to eat, because I am human, and not a robot. I have feelings!
And just in case you’re worried it’s because I’ve ran out of blog book ideas, you are wrong to be worried, because I have thousands left in me! Thousands of things that will bring me millions of dollars. You do the math. That’s so much money.
Tomorrow I will be back with the Clip Art Comic Strip with Obscure Punchlines. I’m so sorry I’m not here to be your trained monkey for the day.
[UPDATE: I’m taking two days off! Shut up! I’ve been up to my eyeballs at work. I can’t wait until I strike it rich so then I won’t ever have to work again.]
Sincerely,
Shameless Book Deal
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Man can’t do shit.
That’s it for today! Tune in tomorrow for a new blog idea!
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God damme! No one has ever made a joke about Jean Claude Van Damme ever! Totally fresh and original! Give me a six figure deal already!
